How I restored intimacy and overcame painful sex after breast cancer
This personal account by a guest survivor addresses the common, often unspoken issue of painful sex after breast cancer treatment and provides practical medical steps to rebuild intimacy.
Takeaways:
Chemotherapy and hormone therapies often cause severe vaginal dryness and tissue changes, making intercourse painful.
Estrogen-receptor-positive breast cancer survivors must seek non-hormonal or specialized medical guidance tailored to their profile.
Effective solutions may include specialized lubricants, non-drying body washes, prescribed local therapies, and dilators.
Rebuilding sexual health requires consistent commitment, self-advocacy, and finding a supportive gynecologist.
Sex after cancer – it’s a thing. I’m sure many of you know what I am talking about, though some of you may not (hopefully that’s a good thing!).
As Warriors, we know the toll cancer treatments have on our bodies. For women, chemotherapy, radiation, and hormone therapy can inhibit normal vaginal lubrication, resulting in extreme dryness and shrinking of tissues, leading to painful sex.
I was in my late 40s when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately, it was caught early—Stage 1—but because my tumor tested positive for a high chance of recurrence, I underwent four chemotherapy treatments. When I finished, my husband and I took a trip to celebrate the (almost) end of my ordeal. I knew I still had at least 5 years of hormonal therapy to go.
What causes physical discomfort during sex after cancer?
It was during that trip that I experienced some slight pain during, and bleeding after, sex. At first, I thought it was a one-off, unusual occurrence.
Well, it kept happening, and it kept getting worse until I could no longer tolerate having sex. It was just too painful, and it became physically impossible. Since my cancer was hormone-receptor-positive, standard HRT (hormone replacement therapy) was not an option for me.
So here I am, wanting to have sex with my husband whom I love so very much (and who was my rock during my entire ordeal), but I can’t.
I decided to go to a gynecologist. I had moved to the desert from another area, so I didn’t have one yet. She was very nice, but she didn’t give me many options or encouragement to remedy the situation.
But I would not give up—I knew there had to be a solution and I was going to find it, even if that particular doctor didn’t have it.
Note to self: Trust your gut! If you don’t like one doctor’s opinion, go find another!
How can you treat post-cancer intimacy issues?
The next doctor I saw was a Godsend! She listened to my concerns and created a comprehensive treatment plan:
She not only prescribed an estrogen cream, but a vaginal lubricant for sex (although I like mine better), a body wash that is non-drying, and vaginal dilators.
Let me tell you, it is a process—BUT IT WORKED! I was able to have normal sex with my husband after about six months of hard work and commitment.
It’s a lot like going to the gym—you have to do it consistently to get results. And you can’t just stop when you reach your goal; you have to continue maintaining it.
This is not a subject that most people talk about, but I feel it is an important one. Please do not let cancer stop you from having a sex life. You, and your sex life, can thrive after cancer!
Sincerely,
Guest Blogger
Happily married, thriving after cancer, and getting her sexy on
POST-CANCER INTIMACY TOOLKIT
Targeted non-hormonal or local prescribed creams
High-quality vaginal lubricants
Non-drying, pH-balanced body washes
Gradual vaginal dilator therapy
You don't have to navigate this alone.
Discussing physical changes and sexual health after cancer can feel uncomfortable, but you deserve support and real solutions. Join our community to connect with fellow thrivers. Connect with our virtual and in-person survivor support groups today.